8:15 am

I'm still sick. Some symptoms are getting better (like my throat) others are getting worse (stomach). I'm down about 3 lbs again. The plan is to stay under 1000 calories today. Breakfast is coffee with milk (35) and a plumcot/pluot/whatever you want to call the plum apricot hybrid (50). And generic crystal light mango peach green tea for breaks (30 between both breaks). Lunch will be a veggie steamer (200) and possibly more crystal light (15) or a hydrive energy drink (30). Then after work I'm planning on am Apple (120) and for supper a baked potato (150) with broccoli (if I remember to buy some (50)) and cheese (150). That is under 900 calories. So I have a bit extra if I need something to eat on a break or whatever. It's enough for a light yogurt or a small piece of fruit or some veggies. I might find something else for supper too. Something with fewer calories... Tomorrow sick or not I'm going to go to the gym. And I'll try to go Tuesday too. I can't wait till winter hours start and I can go after work. And they'll have longer weekend hours too.

Now for various ramblings....

The (ex?)boyfriend and I fought quite a bit last night. Pretty sure I need to move on. But that will require moving into my mother's full time. I cannot stand that bitch. And then it's a gallon of gas to work and another gallon back. Everyday. I was doing that when the price of gas was much higher but I'm really wanting to get out of debt and either buy a house or go to college. I don't want to buy a house if I'll be living alone. I really want to be able to go to college. I'm still unsure of what I would study but I would still have basic classes I have to take anyway. When my dad died I really wanted to be a teacher. I still want to be a teacher but I also have come to realize I've got a lot of wasted potential. I didn't study in high school. I didn't need to. I didn't get an A in every class every year but honestly there were a couple teachers that just didn't like me because they didn't like my cousin when he had gone to school there. Because of weighted classes like my math class and ap English class I had a gpa higher than 4.0 I graduated a year early because I could and I was bored and miserable. Then I went to college even though I really didn't want to. I had a full scholarship. My parents made me. I hardly ever went to class and I remained miserable and failed most of my classes. Most had an attendance policy that lowered grades for not showing up. It was before my dad died and I didn't know what I wanted to do. Now there's a lot I want to take a class in. I needed a break from school. Now that I want to go back I need to get out of debt so I can. I can't go to school full time and work full time. I know that's just something I can't do. My sister went to college full time and held 3 part time jobs at the same time. I can't do that. I need a lot more down time. I more need full time college and minimal hours at a job or pay time college and part time job. And right now I can't afford to work part time. And I'd rather not have to get a loan for the first 2 years (which would be at a community college).

It's about time to start getting ready for work...

~kes